I Eat Because I Love Food…

I’ve decided I need to really go a little deeper with my reasons for eating. I love food. Really, I LOVE food. When I think of things that I really enjoy doing, they typically involve food. I wish I loved coffee. I wonder if I could make myself love coffee? I don’t hate coffee. I just don’t LOVE coffee.

If you think I have had an ADD moment, I haven’t (though I do reserve the right to have one in the future).

When people get together, sometimes they say, “Let’s get together for coffee.” With me, it always seems either me or my friends are saying, “Let’s get together for dinner.” Coffee would be cheaper and have fewer calories. I want to love coffee instead of food! Loving coffee is so much more acceptable than food (unless your naturally skinny at which point everything is ok for you in the eyes of others).

Sometimes, I feel like I have to apologize for eating. Like, if I am telling a story and in that story a meal is involved, I feel like I’m guilty of something–and I might say, “well, I hadn’t eaten anything all day.” I have actually said that a lot–it is frequently true, especially with an addition to the family. There is little time to eat.

Maybe I will try coffee today.

Why Do I Eat?

I always thought the answer to this question was as simple as:

1. Because I love the taste and texture of food. So, sum it up to — appreciation.

2. For existence, though it would take a long time for me to run out of reserves at this point.

3. Did I say, I love food?

Well, today I realized that I felt lonely because no one, not even those who I know and personally sent a request to, have joined me yet on my blog or FB page. I never really considered that I may eat because I am lonely. I did want to fry up a large order of french fries and sit here and watch something on the television while enjoying them all by myself. Of course I didn’t. I ate a reasonable lunch and decided to come check out the people that I have found on FB who are journaling their progress as well. The feeling of wanting to eat something unhealthy wasn’t a good feeling. I think those feelings stem from memories of being in college and living alone. When I was alone, I would have these times when I would cook “comfort food.” The problem is that I want to feel comfortable a lot. 🙂

To sum it up, I don’t like feeling alone. I don’t know what to do about that, but I can bet that eating isn’t going to make me feel any better in the long run. I need to find a better resolution or distraction. This blog is a great distraction. I just hope I don’t end up writing to myself. 😉

So What’s the Plan?

Plan? You mean, I have to have a plan? Well, of course..uhh..I have a plan. The question is how does my plan vary from past plans that didn’t work out. Maybe it’s not the plan to blame, but me for not keeping it. Maybe the fact that I didn’t keep it tells us that there was something wrong with it.

If there was one thing that I could point to and say, “This is what went wrong,” I would have to say trying to change too much too fast. Because I have gone through many baby steps before, I jump right into them. I guess I think that the “baby steps” are easy, but they aren’t. I guess if they were, a lot of people would be making them.

So where do I start? Well, I guess I’ve made my first baby step, and maybe even more than one.

1. Albeit anonymously (for the most part), publicly accepting how much I have gained, and how much I truly need to lose.

2. Restarting an online diary to help me work through the process.

3. Reaching out to people who have been apart of my life journey in one way or another in hopes they will participate in this journey with their support, comments, and advice.

4. Looking for my next step…which shows I am ready to make the next one. So I guess the question now is, where next? I think the next step is documenting. I had been documenting, but got off track. Getting started again after several weeks, shouldn’t be a difficult step. I use Lose It to document my meals. I use both the online and iPhone version.

Ten Reasons I Want To Lose Weight

An old friend of mine had me to do this years ago. I have rewritten these reasons SO many times. What is funny is how they change as I get older and wiser. They are in no particular order.

1. To be more flexible and more mobile.

2. To gain the use of the many outfits in my closet I haven’t been able to wear since 2003 or before. Fortunately, I’ve always chosen the classic look.

3. To physically feel better.

4. To emotionally feel better.

5. To give my son a good example to follow.

6. To accomplish this goal that has seemed to evade me for so long–proving (to me) I can!

7. To reduce the need for any type of medication.

8. To increase my life expectancy.

9. To feel more comfortable when in a seat (in the car, doctor’s office, etc).

10. To feel more comfortable in my skin.

What Does Two for One Mean?

So you may have run across this site because you are looking for a good deal. Generally, that is what 2 for 1 indicates, but not here. Here it refers to my weight, divided by 2. I literally weigh more than two people of healthy BMI. As a matter of fact, I am on the border of being 2 “obese” people in one body. I am actually 2 “overweight” people, and I want to change that.

THIS IS MY JOURNEY. It is going to be a very honest and transparent journey. Maybe you’re on a similar journey, hey, let’s travel this lonely road together then. I encourage your comments. If you have a similar blog, include your address, and I will share it with my readers as well.