The Never Before Update

As of September 28, 2015, I have been working my spiritual, emotional, nutritional, and physical self. This holistic approach is what I believe is necessary for my goals to be fully realized.

God has been so good to make this process simple for me. I am a highly analytical person, so I have that personality type (A) that makes you want to overdo everything. I look for ways to make something that should be simple, hard. Yep. That’s me. I don’t need a 12 step program to overcome my bondage–I need God. He has been revealing to me through many different ways that simplicity is all that is necessary. While faith without works is dead, works doesn’t have to be insane and it should free you not bind you.

CharissaSo, I joined my local YMCA, which I TOTALLY love!! I had plans to use the pool primarily and not the gym, and I’m using the gym primarily and not the pool (yet). It’s interesting how God works things out. I have an awesome trainer, Charissa Dixon, who has already helped me so much before even beginning to work with me. This was a God thing, too. A relative of hers from my church had suggested that I work with her. By divine appointment, she’s the one that was in when I came by unannounced to join. While I felt no obligation to work with her as a trainer, after talking with her, I immediately felt a connection. I am expecting great things!

I use ActivTrax (through the YMCA) to develop my workout that I follow on my iPhone, and I get in the gym daily and hit it hard. I don’t hold back. When I walk in, I walk in feeling like I belong there, instead of feeling like I need to hide, shameful of my size. God delivered me of that, too!! There is no shame in Jesus’ name and His unstoppable love! I now realize that my body represents years of energy that hasn’t been used. It had to be stored somewhere! Well now, I am wearing myself out every day. I am burning that energy! And even though it’s just been two weeks, I can see a difference in the photos below–especially around my neck and face–that’s encouraging.

I have gotten messages from people stating that I have encouraged their own personal journey. If you’ve followed my blog very long at all, you know how happy that makes me. Knowing that I encourage others motivates me to continue for them and myself. I know what it feels like to be alone in a pursuit. Even if you don’t workout side by side, sharing posts and encouragement joins your two journeys together. I love being able to share with others how God is working in and through me and introducing them to His Son, Jesus. Without Jesus, none of what I do would be worth it at all. The liberty that comes through my relationship with Jesus is what ultimately frees me from all worldly bondage and allows me to see the truth of the matter. The comfort that I receive from the Holy Spirit helps me to overcome any negativity that may try to rise up in me. Praise God, I’m FREE!! And I can feel that in my body as well as in my spirit.

I pray that those who follow this blog will find that same freedom. If you would talk more about your journey, please message me. I look forward to hearing from you, and pray that God blesses each one of you!


Transforming In A Fat Prejudiced Society

Transforming in a fat prejudiced society is not an emotionally simple task. In the United States (and perhaps even worse elsewhere), people are judged by the condition of their body. Not even the true condition of their body, but the visual condition of their body. If you are small, you’re typically considered more attractive or desirable and healthy than if you’re large (there are some exceptions of course).

So how does someone who has 100, 200, 300 lbs to lose stay encouraged and motivated in a society that judges them on the basis of their body? For years, the demotivating stare of others would speak volumes to me. They may not have even been thinking about me, but the stare would communicate to me negative things that caused me to resort to behaviors that would comfort me. Eating was one of those because when someone has an eating disorder (and obviously you do when you have large numbers to lose), you seek silence while eating. You hide. This is dangerous behavior and one of the first ones that needs to go for your success.

Here are my top ways of transforming in a fat prejudiced society:

1. Join or create a small support group of people who will cheer you on and who you can cheer on.

2. Be proud of your journey. Find motivating messages on t-shirts and on social media.

3. Shop healthy. Cut all the bad stuff. Shopping healthy is one of the most motivating and empowering experiences I’ve ever experienced!

4. Smile at those who are looking at you. Look at them directly in their eyes and smile your beautiful smile. Let them see the beauty inside you.

5. Stop all negative self-talk (even in your head). Don’t assume others are thinking the worst about you.

I will write on each of these topics individually in the future because there’s more that can be said about each of them. If you have a suggestion for how you positively handle transforming in a fat prejudiced society, I would love to hear from you. You’ll find the comments link on the left of the article.

Let your inner beauty shine through.You may even have to do a little work, find it, and dust it off because you haven’t even appreciated your inner beauty in a long time. If you have problems with finding that beauty, you message me. I’ll help you get there.

Life After Whole30–Now What?

If you have followed my blog recently, you know that I just completed a Whole30 challenge. I call it a challenge because I don’t know what else to call it, and it was a little bit of a challenge at times. So, now I am finished with Whole30, I’m feeling like, “Now what?”

For the most part, I have continued my Whole30 trek. It felt like my security blanket. I felt really healthy with my eating plan, but I haven’t had a problem when I eat legumes and grains in moderation. The jury is still out on the dairy food group, mostly because a lot of my bad eating behaviors came from this group. For this reason, it will only be allowed back in my life on occasion and with complete, mindful attention.

New bikeI’ll tell you how being finished with the Whole30 makes me feel–like being on my new bike. I know it is said, “It’s like riding a bike,” and that’s supposed to refer to how you can go a long time without riding a bike and just jump back on and start riding again, but I feel like I’m a kid who has never ridden a bike before.

When I got on my bike on August 19, I literally fell over with it before leaving the driveway. Now, there were some issues that contributed such as the seat was too high and the handle bars weren’t just right, but it felt totally foreign to me. As if I had never ridden before.

Well, that’s how eating feels to me now without the protection of the strict three food group, Whole30. Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe I am supposed to stay as close to it as possible. I think the biggest worry is that adding back the legumes and grains will take away my weight loss.  I have started working out at Curves, and now I have this bike. My goal is to be getting 1 hour of exercise a day to help me continue my weight loss. I’m not quite there yet, but I will get there. I am hoping that this fear does continue to help drive my fitness and that one day there will be no fear–just good food and great fitness.

Another goal is to be able to confidently eat without the fear of weight gain. I want to begin working into the 7-day Carb Cycling of Chris Powell, and he includes things from all food groups in the menus. I feel pretty confident with his experience working with morbidly obese people that he knows what he’s talking about with the menus. I would really LOVE to find someone’s blog that has already done this. I doubt that there has been someone else who has done a Whole30/7-day Carb Cycling/Green Thickie fusion. I’m kind of making my own way as I go. Combining the best parts of these programs to individualize one that is made specifically for me.

As I make my way through this journey, I’ll be sharing here what I learn for you to be able to make your own plan. Thank you for following my journey. If you have created your own fusion of health/fitness, I’d love for you to share it here. Just leave it in the comments.

Whole30 Week 1 Complete!

So my week 1 of Whole30 is complete! I survived!! This is a really great thing because from what I have read, a lot of people decide in week 1 that they can’t hang with this for 30 days. It’s 30 days! Come on. We can do anything for 30 days, and if you can’t, then maybe there are some dependency issues there that need to be evaluated. I’ve been there. Fortunately, not anymore.

So I had prepared all the meat I would need for the week to have lunch ready, and something always cooked and ready for supper. It made it super easy to be compliant. I didn’t keep up with my calories. If I got hungry, I ate something Whole30 compliant. I didn’t do a lot of snacking, but when I did, I ate fruit. That was a big change for me. I tend to snack at night. Here I am writing this post instead and drinking some water with a keylime in it. It’s really nice to not feel like something is controlling you.

Yesterday, a friend of mine called and wanted to go shopping for her Whole30 foods, so I went with her. I had a few things I wanted to pick up. HAHAHAHA…A FEW…ok way more than a few. She mentioned that she wasn’t as creative with cooking as I am, so I am going to post some step-by-step recipes here for those who feel like they aren’t able to cook. I am telling you, it truly is NOT as difficult as it appears. Stop thinking MASTER CHEF. It doesn’t have to be like that. You certainly can take some tips from shows like that, but don’t think that you have to have exotic ingredients and know cooking lingo to be able to cook. You don’t. Remember, some of the best cooks in the world (our parents and grandparents) never heard of such shows.

So if you are interested in step-by-step cooking instructions, then keep your eyes open. I will be posting some very soon. Maybe even tonight. I need to go put the clothes in the dryer and bag up all the meat for this week. We’ll see if I get time before the dryer is finished. A mother’s job is never done. 🙂

Rx & Cleaner Eating Compliant – 7 days

I have learned that treating my triggers as drugs is the best way for me to succeed in keeping them in check. Well, ok, maybe not like a drug because people who suffer from drug addiction should abstain completely for their overall health (and maybe I should treat food that way too…but you have to eat…just not chocolate).

So to explain, I have already been drinking only water. I have done so well with that. I am nearing 160 days of drinking water only. Even if I try to sip 100% apple juice, it is SO sweet, I can’t stand to drink it (100% juice and milk on occasion are ok because I don’t have problems with those). Well, I restarted my cleaner eating challenge. I have tried this several times and failed to stay compliant. Using the word compliant or non-compliance really helps me understand that I’m not sticking with something that I should be.

I’m not trying to element anything permanently. I am trying to learn to CONTROL the foods and behaviors that tend to present themselves. 1. I have a difficult time taking medication. I hate it. I don’t want to take it, but I need to take certain medications. This week, I was almost 100% compliant. I did miss one evening dose. So I am drinking water, taking my meds, and I have also started focusing on eating cleaner throughout the week. I have had 2 meals that we’re “clean,” but all others were. Most of my meals were in smaller portions than I am used to taking for myself, and once I ate too much (soup).

This is significant because while the soup itself wasn’t unhealthy, the corn chips that I ate with it were. I also made some homemade chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk with. One thing I think occurred with this though was moderation. I was able to use some chocolate to make chocolate milk. Not exactly what I should be consuming, but the smaller amount of chocolate really helped out. I was able to have a little chocolate without having a whole candy bar, or whatever.

I am going to continue working on eating cleaning. I feel better. I feel thinner and more in control of my life. Nothing will be perfect, but it will be different.

Wow–it’s been a month! Getting Back on Track

Ok, so this will just be a short post (I know…I always say that, and it ends up being a novel!). Wow, my family got sick. It started with my baby, and then my husband got it. I swear I have been off track ever since! So now, I am sitting down and writing out some goals to get myself back on track. YOU are part of that list.

Ok, so the next series is going to be on Triggers. This time, I have decided to write at least once a week. I wrote every day during the last series, and I’m thinking that isn’t enough time to actually put into action what I am asking you to do. A week gives you time to read the post and actually put it into action.

One thing I would like for you to commit to as well is sharing this blog with others and interacting with me. I know you probably think, “well, someone else will do it.” The problem is that everyone thinks that, and no one interacts with me. Support is important for this type of journey, so if you’re following in support of my journey, then please post and “support me” with your comments. If you’re here to take this journey with me, then write and share your story with me and let’s do this together. This lets you support me and allows me to support you in return.

Ok, that’s it for this post. More to come this week on Identifying Triggers. See you soon!

Week One Results of Weight Loss Group

As I promised, I am posting our results from this week. Now, keep in mind that this week wasn’t focused on making major changes. The biggest change (which is big enough all on it’s own) was getting our mind set and ready for this journey. We all had slips and falls along the way (and we will still have those from time to time), but everyone is onboard and feeling ready to take on another week one decision at a time.

This morning was weigh in, and our Week 1 weight loss (as a group) is


Critical Fat Facts! What the Fat MUST Know About FAT!

Not staying on your eating plan can be detrimental to your weight loss and health, too. Notice I called it an eating plan not a diet. The ladies (yes, plural because we’ve picked up another lady and we’re happy to accept more) that are joining me want to lose a significant amount of weight also. There’s something I want to share with them, AND YOU as we get started.

If you have less than about 10 lbs to lose, completely erase the word DIET from your vocabulary, at least as it pertains to a short duration of behavior change that will result in the desired amount of weight loss you need to be at your ideal weight. Now, I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, and this doesn’t mean that there isn’t a cheat day in our future–there will be 1 trigger free cheat day per week once we get this train going; however, the short diet I just defined will should NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER be a part of a person’s life after they have gained approx. 10 lbs over their ideal weight. For some, that’s high school. For me, that was junior high. Worst yet for the generation coming up now, that’s even elementary school.

Once your body has created fat cells, they never go away unless you have liposuction done (the consequences of lipo will have to be covered in a new post). You can lose weight, yes, and they call that “losing fat,” but in reality, you’re not losing fat. They should call it, “shrinking fat.” The fat cells are emptied of the energy substance that is inside taking up less space and making you appear smaller. You are smaller. This takes nothing away from the weight loss you have achieved. It does, however, mean that you absolutely can NOT have the attitude that you can just diet for 30 days and go off of your diet (like people do who only have small amounts of weight to lose–YOU AREN’T ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, SO STOP EVEN CONSIDERING THOSE PLANS).

It will be more critical for someone with larger amounts of weight to lose to always stay on their eating plan. Those empty fat cells can quickly be refilled (and once full the creation of new fat cells occur) defeating the entire purpose of a weight loss program, increasing your frustration, increasing your sense of hopelessness, and increasing the chance that you will stay sick, tired, and die sooner than you should.

I’m sorry to be the messenger of bad news. I have almost 200 lbs to lose, so I can tell you that the journey seems very long for me, too. I completely understand how you feel after reading this, but we CAN be successful if we stick to our plan. Once I learned more about fat and have a better understanding about how it works, I can now see that I can’t compare myself to the skinny mini who gained 10 lbs over the course of the year and needs to lose it. The way to go about losing that 10 lbs will be totally different for her than it will be for me! REALITY CHECK!!!

Once we reach our goal, we will be able to develop a maintenance plan that includes foods we love while still ensuring we are eating healthy and not filling any of those emptied fat cells by weighing every single week–addressing ANY weight gained IMMEDIATELY!

SO…don’t feel all blue! I know. It stinks! I wish I had addressed the weight gain immediately once I gained it, or at the very least, at the end of the year when I had a checkup and the doctor said, oh…you’ve gained 5 lbs this year. I should have been like, BAM–LOST IT in a couple of months! We didn’t, so we have to do it now. Join us. We’re on this journey. We’re going to make it by sticking together, sharing ideas, recipes, exercise plan, etc. Having a support group is critical to the success of your weight loss plan, so be sure if you don’t join us, that you will join someone.

What Does Two for One Mean?

So you may have run across this site because you are looking for a good deal. Generally, that is what 2 for 1 indicates, but not here. Here it refers to my weight, divided by 2. I literally weigh more than two people of healthy BMI. As a matter of fact, I am on the border of being 2 “obese” people in one body. I am actually 2 “overweight” people, and I want to change that.

THIS IS MY JOURNEY. It is going to be a very honest and transparent journey. Maybe you’re on a similar journey, hey, let’s travel this lonely road together then. I encourage your comments. If you have a similar blog, include your address, and I will share it with my readers as well.